Midwestern Beauty
People: The annoying, bearded old woman who gossips about her church parish. The conspiracy-backing uncle who shows up late to Thanksgiving. Local homeless who scream profanities at the streets every night.
Places: Po-dunk towns in the middle of nowhere. Suburbia, decorated by white fences and lawns upkept by immigrants. Bars frequented by retirees and/or 'functional' alcoholics. Middle America, whatever part of it you're from; Topeka, Scranton, Cleveland.
Objects: Half-off IKEA furniture. Recycled Christmas ornaments. Old Navy flip-flops. Dreamcatchers.
Food: Microwaved Sara Lee cinnamon rolls. Overcooked pasta drowned in red sauce. Maxwell House Original Roast®. Mom’s hastily made 'Mexican' meatloaf, spiked with Rotel.
When the things we love sort of suck they become more endearing than they perhaps actually are. This might explain why so many quote-on-quote ‘undesirable’ places are glanced over by the general populace. Consider the following made-up exchange: So, where are you from?
"Wisconsin."
Where in Wisconsin?
“Oshkosh—you’ve probably never heard of it.”
Oh, ok. You like it up there?
"Yeah. I miss it." A look of confusion flashes across the speaker's face. One is not supposed to miss where they are from; after all, what is there to like in Oshkosh, WI? They blush, having forgotten to convey their embarrassment. "I mean, sometimes.." Then they scoff and roll their eyes. "I sure am glad I got out of there, though."
If the interviewer is observant then they might see through their hesitation. Perception will dictate whether they’ll ask the question that really matters: Is that how you really feel?
The coastal elite of this country (real or made-up) is apt to negate entire places that they consider ‘ugly'. Most elites shun the notion of living somewhere like Des Moines without pausing to consider the beauty of such a place. Des Moines and Oshkosh are far from migratory destinations in their eyes. Midwesterners typically respond by labeling Californians and Cape Codders as ‘pretentious’.
But the truth is that many of these forgone locales have more to offer than ocean breezes or hipster craft beer halls that only open 4 days a week. Consider the following pleasures that originate from quote-on-quote ‘backwards’ areas of the country: the U.S’s first (and largest) water park; beer brats; the Internet; Miller Lite.
Though all are relevant in some capacity, food, booze and 'firsts' are not what most people associate with their shitty-yet-beloved homes. It's the people that count the most. And the people that are most often found in one's hometown are family.
Having a family (related by blood or otherwise) is awesome. While annoyances spurred by family are inevitable and vary in degree, they are small when compared to the tangible good that family BBQs & get-togethers exude. Every day we are tested by the stupid behavior of others, that despicable uncle included. It’s easy to get caught up in such small arguments. But let it bother you enough and it can spoil a person or place for you entirely. If you go down that path you risk becoming ‘just another asshole’, no better than the so-called elite who shun people and places without second thought. Next time Uncle Jeff starts ranting on the ‘kung-flu’, maybe just let it end in awkward silence instead of confrontation.
Recognize beauty for what it is; subjective. The Lake Tahoe property owner is blind to the unabashed splendor of a diner counter occupied by friends & neighbors. To them beauty is gold watches, plush hotel rooms with guarded balconies, fine wine made fine only by its high price. They are blind, or perhaps desensitized, to the simpler joys. The opposite can be said of the humble diner-goer; What are 'soft tannins' anyways, and why the hell would you pay $200 for a bottle of it?
The next time you find yourself silently dreading a visit home or embark on an obligated trip to some non-glorious locale, do your best to recognize something that exists there that is special. The foreign glances you will receive upon arrival are likely justified. If you are from there originally, then you are a deserter. If you are not, then you will be a deserter. Either way, you are regarded with suspicion. And justifiably so, for you will inevitably abandon the place & its quiet charm in favor of exploration, expansion. But if there was not something of value there then the place would be vacant.
Although your stay will likely be short, while you are there you can still find and enjoy this beauty. To those who take a fish fry attended by an entire extended family for granted, shame on you. If this is not a tried & true, uniquely Midwestern thing of beauty, I do not know what else is. And if you cannot find beauty in the present, try recalling the past. Most likely you have forgotten the pure magic felt while scavenging riverbanks and creek beds for skipping rocks during your childhood. Quite possibly the memories of your childhood are alive even still. Somewhere there might be a child doing the same thing you were 20+ years ago; a boy wearing the Cardinal's hat he had on his Christmas list the year before, knocking on the front doors of his friends’ houses to see if they are available to play a pickup game of football.
Perhaps the beauty is still alive; perhaps it is not. Alive or not, there is surely something to behold.
Title image cred: https://static.stacker.com/s3fs-public/styles/slide_desktop/s3/2021-01/Buffalo%20Grove.png
